🔥 The Question That Creates Tension Immediately

What do women really bring to the table… and does it match what men are actually looking for?

It’s one of the most talked about—and often avoided—questions in modern dating.

In this episode, we bring together a mixed panel of men and women to unpack expectations, value, and the growing disconnect between perception and reality when it comes to relationships.

Because everyone has standards.
But not everyone agrees on what those standards should be.

This conversation goes beyond surface-level answers.

It challenges assumptions.
It exposes differences in perspective.
And it forces one question to the forefront:

👉 Are men and women even speaking the same language when it comes to value?

This isn’t about pointing fingers.
It’s about understanding the gap.

Because what people believe they bring…
and what others experience…
aren’t always the same thing.

This isn’t theory.
This is lived experience.

🎙️ Why This Conversation Exists

This series was created by Tonya Buford, founder of Beyond the Profile: Swipe Less. Connect More, out of a deeper frustration she saw in today’s dating culture.

Too many people are:

• Defining their value based on personal belief… rather than relationship reality
• Entering dating with high expectations—but unclear self-awareness
• Focusing on what they want… without fully understanding what they offer
• Confusing independence with partnership readiness

Tonya created this space to shift that.

👉 To move beyond surface-level conversations
👉 To challenge perspectives that go unquestioned
👉 To create dialogue that leads to clarity, alignment, and better relationship decisions

Because when value isn’t clearly understood…
it creates confusion, frustration, and misalignment.

🎙️ Meet the Panel

Kevin Watts

A U.S. Army veteran with 26 years of service, Kevin brings a grounded, life-experienced perspective on relationships, responsibility, and what truly matters over time. Now working with the Department of Homeland Security, he speaks from both personal and lived experience.

📲 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/moorish19  

Jayrick

Jayrick brings a confident and composed presence, offering a clear perspective on what men experience when it comes to expectations around providing, dating, and long-term relationships.  

Carla Reed

Product & Services: HR & Organizational Development Consultant Carla Reed is an HR and Organizational Development Consultant advising small business owners, entrepreneurs, executives, and managers on organizational change through retention strategies in addition to the implementation of equitable technology systems, processes, and policies.

Using data driven practices, Carla provides tailored curriculum, coaching, training, and audits to shift workplace practices fostering community as well as equitable workplace outcomes. Carla is passionate about fostering community in the workplace, workforce development, and civic engagement, and women’s advocacy. She’s served on numerous national and local boards, including Thursday Network, Women’s Campaign Fund (WCF), and the Women’s Information Network (WIN).

She is a member of the Zeta Mu Chapter of Iota Phi Lambda Sorority Incorporated, the first African American women’s business and professional sorority. Outside of work, Carla is also an ultra-runner and street photographer. She is a native of Little Rock, Arkansas.

📲 Instagram: @carlarreed

Shelley Smith

Host of A Sit Down with Shelley – Make It Make Sense, Shelley brings a powerful, real-life perspective rooted in experience, resilience, and truth. As a married woman, she offers insight into what it actually takes to build and sustain a relationship beyond theory.

📲 YouTube: https://youtube.com/@asitdownwithshelley
📲 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/asitdownwithshelley_podcast

Borel Awung

Borel Awung is a 27-year-old panelist who brings a thoughtful, analytical perspective to modern dating and relationships. Known for his introspective approach, Borel often explores the intersection of personal growth, decision-making, and how individuals show up in relationships. His viewpoints are grounded in both logic and lived experience, offering a balanced lens on topics that are often emotionally charged.

Outside of the panel, Borel is an active writer, sharing insights on self-awareness, mindset, and life experiences through his work on Medium.

📲 Instagram: @caviar_b05/

📖 Read more of his writing:
https://medium.com/@borelawung

🔥 What We Talked About

In this episode, the panel dives into:

• What “bringing something to the table” actually means today
• The difference between perceived value vs experienced value
• Why men and women often define contribution differently
• The role of looks, personality, peace, and emotional support
• How independence impacts attraction and long-term compatibility
• Whether modern dating has shifted expectations too far in one direction

🎭 The Real Conversation

This isn’t a comfortable topic.

And that’s exactly why it matters.

Because beneath the surface of dating, attraction, and relationships…
there’s an ongoing negotiation happening:

👉 What do you expect?
👉 What do you offer?
👉 And are those things aligned?

The panel doesn’t always agree.
And that’s where the truth lives.

Some perspectives challenge.
Some resonate.
Some may even make you uncomfortable.

But all of them are real.

🧠 The Bigger Question

At its core, this conversation forces a deeper level of self-reflection:

👉 Are we bringing what we think we are?
👉 Or are we relying on outdated assumptions about value?

Because in today’s dating landscape…
clarity is currency.

And without it, people keep choosing—and losing—the same types of relationships.

💬 Join the Conversation

There’s no single answer.

But there is truth in the dialogue.

👉 What do you think women bring to the table today?
👉 Has the definition of value changed… or stayed the same?

Let us know your perspective.

Because the conversation doesn’t end here—it starts here.

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