What actually turns men off?

In this episode of our Why He Moves Like That: Men Ain’t Gonna Tell You This!! series, Tonya Buford brings together an all-male panel for an honest, unfiltered conversation about one of the most sensitive — and rarely discussed — topics in modern dating:

From attitudes and behavior to dating habits, aesthetics, and emotional energy, the panel dives into the traits men say quietly affect attraction — but often go unspoken.

This conversation gets real.

Because sometimes attraction isn’t lost all at once…
it fades through repeated experiences, unmet expectations, and behaviors people don’t realize are pushing others away.

This isn’t about attacking women. It’s about understanding perspective.

🎙️ In This Episode We Discuss:

• The behaviors men say instantly lower attraction
• Physical and personality traits men quietly avoid
• The difference between confidence and combative energy
• Why peace, attitude, and emotional presence matter to men
• Modern dating habits that men say are becoming major turn-offs
• The disconnect between what women think men want… and what men actually value

🔥 Meet The Panel

Anthony Shannon

Anthony Shannon is a Chief People Officer, lawyer, and business leader who brings a real-world, unfiltered perspective to conversations about life, relationships and leadership. He currently helps shape strategy at one of the country’s leading law firms, but his journey started with a strong foundation—earning his undergraduate degree from North Carolina A&T State University and his law degree from University of Connecticut School of Law. 

He lives in Washington DC’s thriving Navy Yard neighborhood. Outside the boardroom, Anthony is always on the move—whether he’s talking about career growth, money moves, or navigating life. He’s a proud member of Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity, Inc., and that sense of brotherhood, discipline, and achievement shows up in how he approaches both business and life.

📲 Instagram: @adotshannon/

Lorenzo Deloatch

An educator and mentor based in Montgomery County, Lorenzo brings a thoughtful and disciplined perspective rooted in growth, structure, and self-development. His passion for mentorship and personal excellence shapes his views on relationships and accountability.

📲 Instagram: @Mrdeloatchjr

Clee Guerrier

Ecclesiaste ‘Clee’ Guerrier is the President of the Seminole Club of Greater Washington, DC, the official DC Chapter of the FSU Alumni Association.  In addition to this, Clee is also a proud member of the Monumental Men Network. Clee brings extensive experience in leading high-performing teams across both government and the private sector.  With a strong foundation in operations, program management, and strategic leadership, Clee has dedicated his career to delivering solution-centered approaches that advance the strategic objectives of the organizations he has represented. Clee’s background includes 8 years of service in the United States Army and 3 years of service as a staffer at the US Senate where he served on the Executive Board of the Senate Black Legislative Staff Caucus.

Clee has developed a deep understanding of logistics, organizational leadership, and operational planning. His military service included multiple domestic deployments in response to natural disasters and civil unrest, laying a strong foundation for his transition into the civilian sector.

Prior to his military service, Clee attended Florida State University, where he graduated with dual Bachelors degrees and a Masters degree. During his time on campus, he held several key leadership positions, including Student Government Senate, President of the Performing Arts organization Poetic Lyricism, a member of the Executive Boards of the NAACP, College Democrats, Black Student Union, Haitian Cultural Club, and Progressive Black Men Inc.  In each role, he has demonstrated a commitment to innovation, strategic growth, and operational excellence. Clee resides in Northern Virginia with his wife and son. Outside of work, he enjoys spending time with his family/friends, traveling, mixed martial arts, networking, photography, and supporting his community.

📲 Instagram: @cleethechamp

Feintzy Pierre

: @FenzeeP

Patrice Haspil

Mindlink.co – AI is changing the career and business landscape-for anyone who is faced with transition or a career pivot MindInk.co offers strategic coaching and consulting to help you regain your professional clarity , self leadership and confidence. Visit MindInk.co and sign up for a 30 minute free consultation.

📲 Instagram: sfb_10977

Episode Recap By:

Justin Hopkins

Dr. Justin S. Hopkins is a clinical psychologist, psychoanalytic scholar, and founder of Hopkins Behavioral Health, a Washington, D.C.-based practice specializing in culturally attuned psychoanalytic therapy. Dr. Hopkins obtained a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Hampton University, a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology at Regent University, and completed a two-year postdoctoral fellowship in psychoanalytic therapy at George Washington University. A sought-after speaker and educator, Dr. Hopkins combines expertise in trauma with identity studies and social justice, advising major institutions, from international law firms to national nonprofits, on wellness and resilience.

Trained at the Hampton and Philadelphia Veterans Affairs Hospitals, Dr. Hopkins holds advanced training in PTSD, trauma-focused therapies, and the impact of trauma on personality. As a staff psychologist at Georgetown University Law Center, Dr. Hopkins delivered lectures on secondary trauma and trauma-informed practices to law clinics. In addition, he has provided trauma-informed consultation to employee resource groups at AM100 Law Firms and Fortune 500 companies.

Dr. Hopkins’ pioneering work bridges psychology and historic preservation, showing how confronting painful histories can serve as a catalyst for liberation and societal transformation. In 2023, he advised the National Trust for Historic Preservation on advocacy for the Emmett Till and Mamie Till-Mobley National Monument, applying trauma psychology to the historical context of race. In 2025, he was awarded a Fellowship by the African American Cultural Heritage Action Fund, an arm of the National Trust, dedicated to preserving Black American history. As a therapist, speaker, educator, and scholar, Dr. Hopkins is committed to addressing the pain that undergirds societal ills.

📲 Instagram: @drjshopkins/

https://www.hopkinsbehavioralhealth.com/

🔥 5 KEY TAKEAWAYS (FOR SHOW NOTES)

1. Attraction Isn’t Just Physical — Energy Matters

The panel agreed that looks may get attention initially, but attitude, emotional energy, and how someone makes a man feel often determine whether attraction grows… or fades.

2. Men Often Stay Quiet About Their Turn-Offs

Many men don’t openly communicate what’s bothering them in relationships or dating. Instead, attraction slowly decreases over time while the issue goes unaddressed.

3. Emotional Safety Matters for Men Too

A recurring theme throughout the conversation was that men also want peace, understanding, and emotional safety—but many don’t feel comfortable expressing that openly.

4. Modern Dating Expectations Are Creating Confusion

The panel discussed how social media, dating culture, and shifting gender expectations have created disconnects between what people say they want… and how they actually behave in relationships.

5. Honest Conversations Create Better Relationships

One of the biggest takeaways from the episode was that many relationship problems begin with misunderstanding, assumptions, and lack of communication. Real dialogue creates clarity—and clarity leads to better choices in dating.

🎯 About The Series

Why He Moves Like That: Men Ain’t Gonna Tell You This!! is a conversation-driven series created to give honest insight into how men think, date, connect, and emotionally respond in modern relationships.

Too many people are dating through assumptions, social media narratives, trauma, and surface-level expectations — without truly understanding one another.

This series was created to change that.

Because when we understand each other better…
we date better.

🔗 Connect With Us

🌐 Website: https://bit.ly/4bH57z1
📸 Instagram: https://bit.ly/4rMGw1A
📘 Facebook: https://bit.ly/4rRMo9P
🎵 TikTok: https://bit.ly/483sOjU

💬 Join the Conversation

👉 Should men be expected to pay for everything?
👉 Or should dating reflect more balanced financial roles?

Drop your thoughts — this is a conversation worth having.

🔔 Stay Connected

Real conversations. Real perspectives. Real growth.
Swipe less. Connect more.

Where to subscribe: YouTube| iTunes/Apple Podcast | Spotify| Amazon Music | iHeart❤ | Pandora | RSS

Help Us Spread the Word! Please let your Twitter followers know about this podcast. Simply click here now to post a tweet.

Have an idea for an interview reach out: [email protected]

Got a show idea, or a suggestion Leave a Voice Mail: 202-495-1353

If you enjoyed this episode of the Beyond The Profile: Swipe Less. Connect More podcast, please head over to iTunes, leave a rating, write a review, and subscribe. And if you listen on Spotify, please click here to rate and review this show.